Just discovered these outtakes from some corporate shite Tom Baker was, for some reason, employed to do back in the mists of time – for Symphony Group as far as I can tell.
It’s Tom in full Horror of Fang Rock mode, deriding scripts, lexis and punctuation that he finds lacking – despite the fact that he clearly contradicts himself on some points.
Things take a macabre turn towards the end, but I’ll leave you to discover how.
All told it’s genuine laugh-out-loud stuff, Tom’s sarcasm and vulgarity coming through beautifully. It’s no wonder he found himself unemployable for a couple of decades, and it shouldn’t leave any doubt that Tom can be a funny bugger – or a rude and fearful man if you’re a producer.
I expect every one of his Who companions from Lis Sladen onwards would not be surprised.
A few choice quotes
You want me to sound like a fucking disc jockey!
Symphony …even for monkey shaggers!
I adore distilled whippet shit
I can go on, this is so emotional I’m getting a stalk on here
…people who haven’t been to sleep since 1946 will be in a fucking coma… in fact they[‘ll be in an irreversible coma… apart from that I find them quite fascinating
How did the world ever exist before fucking Symphony came into it?
That’ll be number one in the fucking Singapore hit parade!
Symphony – it brings tears to my eyes just to say it