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Ten moments of shocking violence in Doctor Who – by the Doctor

It was pretty refreshing to see the Eleventh Doctor punching some bloke’s lights clean out on the new series trailer than showed back in January, following a few years of sanctimonious stuff from RTD and Ten about how ‘violence is bad, m’kay?’.

So much so that it stirred my mind back to a simpler time when The Doctor would casually dispatch villains in a variety of ways, including blasting them with guns, pushing them into acid baths and gassing them with cyanide. The good old days, as I like to call them.

So, I’ve compiled a list of ten moments of shocking violence in Doctor Who – perpetrated by the Time Lord himself.

1. An Unearthly Child

The original and the best. The First Doctor is stopped by Ian, seconds before he stoves in the head of a wounded caveman with a rock.

2. The Dominators

The Second Doctor places a nuclear device on the Dominators’ ship, blowing them out of the sky.

3. Inferno

The Third Doctor smilingly explains to the Brigadier than the Venusian grip he has applied to Stahlman will soon paralyse him for life. Similar venusian chops, kicks and jabs pepper the Third Doctor’s era.

4. Day of the Daleks

The Doctor casually blasts an approaching Ogron, blowing Ten’s ‘be the man who never would’ speech out of the water.

5. The Brain of Morbius

The Fourth Doctor gasses Solon with cyanide, in a move that could easily have left him and Sarah sealed in a crypt forever.

6. The Seeds of Doom

Four punches out a henchman with a thinly-disguised relish. Later on he twists Scorby’s neck, as if to break it, after punching him in the gut.

7. Arc of Infinity

The Fifth Doctor simply shoots Omega.

8. The Twin Dilemma

The Sixth Doctor tries to strangle Peri to death.

9. Vengeance on Varos

Take your pick. Doc Six maneuvers two guards into a BATH OF ACID and leaves two different booby traps involving stinging plants and a laser to kill two cannibals and a guard.

10. The Two Doctors

The Sixth Doctor chloroforms Shockeye to death.

I’ve got nothing on the rest, barring the Seventh Doctor’s disabling of Patterson in Survival and the Ninth Doctor’s knocking out a guard in the one where Rose turns into the Time Vortex, or whatever the hell it is that happens in that episode.

Have I missed any obvious ones? It wouldn’t surprise me to discover that Hartnell stabbed someone in the neck in one of his less obvious stories.

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Merchandise

Time Out Lord

Knockout collector item or cynical cash-in? Make your own mind up about Time Out’s Doctor Who In London special, complete with ten different cover. Guess, if you can, what’s on them.

Yup, the whole damn lot of them in a number of Doctor+London image pictures of varying quality and relevance.

All the covers attempt to picture the various incarnations of the Ka Faraq Gatri in front of a London landmark that supposedly bear some relevance to one of their adventures, so for Hartnell it’s the Post Office Tower; Troughton Saint Pauls; and McGann, er, the Houses of Parliament.

The Grauniad has gamely attempted to match a bit of spiel about each Doctor to the various covers, referencing the fraction of a second parliament is glanced in the TV Movie.

In fairness DWM does the multiple cover routine on a fairly regular basis these days, and the London connection is an interesting one. Whether the associated articles are remains to be seen, but the dubious quality of a couple of the badly-Photoshopped cover doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence.

Still, there’s interviews with Tennant and Matt Smith, and no doubt another modest and self-deprecating piece with the admittedly-entertaining RTD, plus a map of Who locations and a FREE POSTER!

I wonder if there’s an advert for ERIC?

• You can buy the whole set here for £21, which could conceivably be a good investment if you stick them in your loft for 20 years.