Caves and Twins: Cold Blood
The second half of Chibnall's Silurian two-parter, which has referenced half the Pertwee era thus far, had to pull it out of the bag rather to improve on the disappointing The Hungry Earth. So, was it a pretty Okdel, or was the whole thing a pile of Icthar?
Caves
All the regular were excellent
Kiling of Rory - brave and unexpected
The return of the crack - Just when you that particular arc had been magicked away
The shrapnel - An intriguing lead in to the climax of this season
Twins
Most of the guest cast. Pretty poor, in my opinion.
The plot - Earth Reptile Plot Number One gets yet another run out
Silurian redesign - Sorry to be a bore on this, but it was totally uninspired. Straight out of the TNG/DS9/Voyager monster make-up book. Humans with masks on.
Murray Gold's music - Back to intrusive, bombastic and totally lacking in subtlety
Loose ends - I expect things like the wedding ring and the future Rory and Amy will pay off in the future, but what about the little kid's dyslexia? Seemingly deliberately flagged up, only to be abandoned. Or did I miss something?
All in all, Cold Blood was OK, but the two-parter as a whole felt like marking time until the last ten minutes.
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Caves and Twins: The Hungry Earth
Chibnall's much-dreaded two-parter kicks off with Inferno meets The Silurians meets some dreary regional soap opera. So, was The Hungry Earth like some of the bits from the five-part Torchwood, or was it like everything else he's written for Who and Torchwood?
Caves
Scenes in the night-time churchyard - They were quite good.
Regulars - Generally coped OK with some really weak stuff
Twins
Chibnall's characterisation - None of the lines he put in the mouths of his characters, none of whom are well-drawn or interesting, sound believable. I couldn't care less about any of them.
Chibnall's dialogue - Awful speeches by the Doctor again and again. Cliched lines for everyone concerned. Who's editing this stuff?
Meera Syal - A terrible actress in everything she's in
Pacing and plot - Stop-start, long spells where nothing happened. Boring and incoherent - with a side dose of running around.
TARDIS scenes towards the end - Simply embarrassing
Redesigned Silurians - What's the point? Predictably shit.
Worse than I'd anticipated. A misfire on virtually every level. Chibnall took one of the most interesting concepts in Who mythology and totally fucked it up.
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Caves and Twins: The Eleventh Hour
The Eleventh Hour - the first of a brave new era for Moffatt, for Smith, for the Eleventh Doctor, for the show.
So, did Moffatt's new fairytale Doctor Who prove to be a bit Rose, New Earth, Smith and Jones, Partners in Crime... actually all of the first episodes tend to be unremitting shite, so will this be a change?
Caves
The crack in the wall... the edge of the eye - Loved all the stuff about creepy stuff that scares kids. Nicely understated and eerie
Young Amelia - Wonderful performance from the girl who played young Amy - threatened to overshadow Karen Gillan.
Smith - Got there in the end. Despite all the internet rumours, despite being too young, despite the Tennant squeers, despite the weight of a 47-year-old show on his scrawny shoulders, Smith pulled it off.
Amy's story - Heart-breakingly abandoned by the Doctor - or was she? - and resulting in a flighty, slightly unbalanced flame-haired babe with a Raggedy Doctor fetish. Interesting.
Patrick Moore - Recast a rogueish astronomer permanently on the pull. Amusing.
Redesigned TARDIS - Exterior anyway.
Twins
Fishfinger custard - An idea of 'eccentric' so hackneyed even RTD would have thought twice. In fact the whole first 15 minutes, complete with Murray's "I'm writing Harry Potter score" and kerrayzee tone were like a pissed Uncle dancing to Madness at a wedding. Post-regeneration trauma has never been so twatty.
Prisoner Zero - Slightly interesting as barking man or weird housewife and kids, dull-as-dishwater as unconvincing CGI blob.
Plot - Rubbish, but prepared to overlook it cos there was so much to do in the episode.
All in all a top start. Remarkable how fresh it all seemed a matter of months after The End of Time. New Doctor, new companion and the whole new feel of the show come together to make Series Five an intriguing prospect.
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Caves and Twins: Amy’s Choice
Simon Nye's entry into the Who canon, Amy's Choice, aired the other day – in what's been described as something of a throwback to the Celestial Toymakers and Mind Robbers of years gone by.
So, was the seventh episode of Series Five totally Simpson, or was it all a little bit Gold?
Caves
Toby Jones - Brilliant as the Dream Lord, a quirky character more interesting that pretty much anyone else in the 60-odd episodes of NuWho, if not entirely used to its full extent. Brilliant when deconstructing the Doctor's affectations, musing on butcher's shops and teasing Amy. I demand more.
Frozen TARDIS - Looked beautiful and impossible not to recall the minimalist TARDIS designs of the 60s
Smith'n'Gillan - I can't fault them. Best TARDIS crew for... ages.
Valeyard - I don't care what anyone else says.
Twins
No threat 1 - At no point was there any real sense of threat, nor were script or direction really interested in exploring the stranger aspects suggested by the set-up.
No threat 2 - The Dream Lord, as a friend has amusingly put it, had all the threat of Michael Gove. Instead of simply being creepy old people, the creepy old people were yet another kind of screeching BEMs hiding in human shape.
Plot - Muddled at best, with a confusing climax.
Rory - Arthur Darvill does a good job, but I could not care less about this feckless twunt.
Worst use of a milkman since Survival: "Oh, good morning! Arrrgh!"
All of which may give the impression that I didn't really enjoy Amy's Choice, but I did. It was original and a great change of pace - and much more interesting than any Victory of the Daleks or Vampires of Venice can ever be. It just could have been a lot better.
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Caves and Twins: Vampires of Venice
We've had a couple of big-hitters – now it's time for something that could variously be described as a 'runaround', or a bit 'throwaway' in the shape of Toby Whithouse's Vampires of Venice.
The Doctor, Amy and The Emasculated Bloke run around Venice for a while, as some creepy girls chew the furniture, amongst other things.
Caves
Opening Doctor-in-cake scene
Looked good.
Smith and Gillan good as usual.
Some funny one-liners.
Twins
Rory – Doctor Who emasculated bloke #325
Plot – Thin, to say the least. Turned off, literally, by the press of a button.
SFX – Awful green-screen stuff of Smith scaling a tower
Time War creep – Elements of Doc Ten's lonely, anguished, lonely, guilty, lonely life creeping back in
Monsters - Fish that look like people. Makes a change from bats that look like people I suppose.
In fairness, Vampires of Venice wasn't bad. It just seemed very unambitious. There are a few decent New-Who episodes that fall into the same category: episodes I will never watch again.
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Graham Norton exterminated for Time of Angels gaffe
Quite amusing. Fair play to the little tinker, but I kinda doubt it was Norton who was responsible for this extremely silly error.
Caves and Twins: Flesh and Stone
So, Moffatt's first two-parter as show-runner, Weeping Angels and all, comes to an end after last week's The Time of Angels.
Was it as satisfying as The Doctor Dances or as incomprehensible as, er, most of the other concluding episodes of two-parters?
Caves
The eeriness of the antagonists and the setting was superb, with Amy's counting down from ten ('for fun'); Octavian's imminent death; the Doctor getting literally collared; and the eventual moving Angels all wonderfully realised Who-ish moments.
The arc. I haven't worked out what the crack is all about, or what River Song has to do with it, or whether there were two separate Doctors roaming about on the Byzantium - but it's already shaping up to be fascinating, and I expect a typically rigourous conclusion by Moffatt.
Acting. All of the cast were superb, particularly the regulars. Gillan's 'countdown' scenes were played well and really gave the story a nasty, frightening edge. And Iain Glen made a role that could have been perfunctory a believable character
Twins
Direction. I'm reaching a bit here, but I found quite a few lines delivered in a really odd way, particularly by Alex Kingston, who is usually fine. And I never thought the threat of the Angels – that they move when not viewed - was communicated that well by the ultra-snappy editing. No howlers though.
Amy gets sexy. While I like the idea of Karen Gillan getting all hot and bothered, it seemed a bit off-kilter with her character and the dynamic between Amy and the Doctor so far. I've seen it argued that this scene was a massive two fingers up to the emo-ness of RTD and Ten and Rose and Martha, but I'd really enjoyed the lack of emotional wankery so far in this season. Their relationship seemed complicated, yet fairly believable - it now risks being reduced to another 'companion hot for the Doctor' thing.
That's about it, a fine two-parter that really stamped Moffatt and the leads and the new direction of the new series on Doctor Who
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